Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thursday Thanks Tank #70
I am not really sure where to start. Wednesday was not a good day for me. I'd like to tell you all of the details. I like to talk to you one-on-one about how sad I feel about the day but I just can't. It is impossible for me to blog that conversation. Instead I will just tell you that I was caught off-guard by the events of my day. My dog, Bailey, had to be put to sleep. I didn't see that coming. I had no idea my day would unfold like it did. We got our dogs, George and Bailey (yes, yes- named after "George Bailey"), 6 months after we got married. My husband picked out George and I picked out Bailey. George died in April. Bailey was 13 years old in December. I was unbelievably sad all day Wednesday. I still am really sad. I lost a great dog.
On top of my grief is the knowledge that I don't know if I will ever have another dog. Last January we found out that my son is allergic to dogs. It shouldn't have come as a big surprise because there had been several times where his asthma would flare up around dogs. Our dogs never bothered him. The doctor said due to that and the age of our dogs, we could manage David's asthma and keep our dogs. Getting another dog would be risky to David's health. I know that. Knowing it does not help me grieve. It makes me angry.
I was just reading another friend's blog about her son's allergies, some of which are newly discovered allergies. She said that allergies stink. Oh, I agree with my whole heart. Today I was angry that David has allergies. I was angry that he has asthma. His asthma has been acting up lately. I was sad and then I was just plain mad.
In the middle of it all, I remembered something... My God cares.
He cares about me. I believe that he cares about how I feel. When my heart hurts and I am sad, it matters. When I feel angry about my situation, God cares. He will listen to me. I can pray and pour out my heart to God and God is compassionate.
I AM THANKFUL FOR THESE TRUTHS:
Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you..."
Nahum 1:7 "The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him."
1 Peter 5:7
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"
It doesn't matter how big or small the anxiety, frustration or anger, God will listen and he desires for me to turn to him. I am not over my grief. I am still very sad. But, I know that I can tell God exactly how I feel. That comforts me.
Oh, and one more thing- if you ever have a bad Wednesday, hop on over to 5 Minutes for Moms and check out the Wordless Wednesday posts. I let the kids watch a long movie and loved every minute of browsing the pictures and making comments! There were so many great pictures that made me smile. I am thankful that I had some time to do that. I am also thankful for all of the people that hopped back over and commented on my blog. Each comment was a "happy thought" for me on an otherwise very bad day.