Monday, April 14, 2014

So much to say... and yet there are no words

I have so much to say, I don't even know where to start.

My week has been so full. So very full.

I will start with my heart's ache.

This week, a little boy- a neighbor- lost his life. He had just turned 5 in March. He ran into the road and was, tragically, hit by a car.

The devastation.
The loss.

There aren't words to describe it.

And, I am just a neighbor whose kids played with the boy and his older brother.
The pain his family must feel... I cannot imagine it.
His Nana brought flowers to our house today- because they have too many. The scent is almost too much- just so sweet.
The sweetness reminds me of his sweet innocence.

And all I can think is... He was just here...

He was here at my house last week, jumping on the trampoline... or trying to jump. It made him nervous. He would get on and off and on again. He kept trying. He enjoyed it most when his brother jumped with him but there were times when he would sneak in the back by himself, when the other kids were riding scooters and bikes. He'd sneak on the trampoline for just a bit and try it out. The boy was precious- just precious. He was full of spunk. When all of the kids were playing outside at my house, he'd try to come inside to play with the toys. If I met him at the backdoor and told him that everyone was playing outside, he'd try the side door. He did not give up. I'd lock the door so he wouldn't sneak in. And then, when he got in, which he did- everyone followed.

It shouldn't have happened.
It couldn't have.
It did.

And it breaks my heart.

My kids keep asking the kind of questions that kids ask. I am okay when they ask me... but, today, when my 6 year old asked Nana about the car that hit Logan, I just couldn't take it. Nana is a gracious, gracious understanding woman who worked in education for years. She is so good with kids. But it broke my heart to pieces.

There is no reason for pain like this.
It's just raw, excruciating pain.

I will carry his memory with me forever.
And his family- I just don't know how they are holding on.

His life was precious, everything that encompasses a five year old - energetic, mischievous, loving, curious. He had a zest for living.

We celebrated his life today.