Friday was refreshing to my soul.
I will warn you: I am writing this post to solidify my thoughts in my mind. My words may or may not resonate with you.
My husband worked last weekend so he took Friday off. My husband manned the home front and I got to go to MOPS (Mothers-of-Preschoolers) without the kids. After MOPS, I stopped by home for a bit and then picked up my son from school and ran a few necessary errands. Everything always takes longer than expected and I did not have time for my planned stop at Starbucks. I had to get home because my husband and my oldest son were headed to a Cub Scout lock-in. I convinced myself that missing out on the latte was not a big deal because I was going to pamper myself that night. All I had to do was get the 3 little ones in bed and then I had the house to myself! I spent the day debating in my mind what I would do with my alone time. Maybe I would scrapbook. Maybe I would organize my craft projects. Maybe I would surf blogland. Maybe I would take a nice long bubble bath.
I came home to chaos. I came home to dinner (It was appreciated and delicious). The kids were loud. They were demanding. It was not unlike it is sometimes at that time of the day. My husband was so stressed out that he said he didn't think he was going to eat. He did eat right before he left (an answer to my prayer, I think, because my man gets grumpy on an empty stomach).
I let my 2 youngest boys stay up an hour after their bedtime. I treated them because they were insanely jealous about their brother getting to stay up half the night at the lock-in. The boys got to take a nice long bubble bath in my tub (they love my over sized tub). I spent the time enjoying my daughter. I dressed her up in a few adorable outfits, trying to see how cute she will be in her overdue 1 year picture.
The kids were in bed at 9(ish). I came downstairs and surveyed the damage. Oh my good gravy, the house was a disaster zone. In my struggle to placate my younger boys as I cleared the table (boy, I do not miss the single parenting of my Army wife days), I had pulled out a few tubs of toys out of the toy closet. I had also loaned them a couple of my blankets to play with. Those misplaced items were icing on the cake. The family room was a mess of misplaced toys.
The kitchen was just as crazy. It took time to finish the breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes from the day.
I walked into my room sometime after midnight and tried to focus on the large pile of clothes on my bed. It looked like so much... and then it dawned on me...oh, I seeeee, that pile of dirty clothes is now combined with the pile of clean clothes on top of my bed (yes, laundry challenges me). With a sigh, I pushed the pile onto floor and smiled.
I smiled because I realized that I make a difference. I often -most every day and every week- lament to myself that I cannot get anything accomplished. I look at my day and feel dissatisfied. I struggle with feeling insignificant. I don't finish much of what I start in one day so I struggle with feelings of failure.
Maybe this is a classic house-wife story. I don't care if it is. I think in the classic story, the wife gets angry. I am not frustrated. Friday night gave me an appreciation for myself. That doesn't happen very often.