Sunday, October 04, 2009

Good Enough

Sometimes I struggle.
I wonder if I am doing a good job.

I am my worst critic. I evaluate what I do in all areas of my life and I don't measure up. I see my flaws.

I notice what I didn't do or what I didn't say. I think about what I shouldn't have said. I wonder if what I said came across wrong.

I think about how I could be more attentive to my children. I think about how I could be better at disciplining them. I could be training them to be more organized. I could if only I were more organized.

I think about the places in my community where I have gotten involved and I wonder if I am making a difference. I wonder if I am spread too thin. I wonder if every activity and group I am in suffer because I am doing too many things at once.

Sometimes I grapple with my insufficiencies so much that they consume my attention.
Instead of seeing myself, I see the worst of myself.

My life may be a beautiful web of interactions with people, involvement in activities, and development of my faith but I often focus on my weaknesses.

I see the parts that aren't just right.

I think, "If I work hard enough, I can do better." I want the best.

I get hung up on my deficiencies. When I do that, the small problems overwhelm me. I see holes that I cannot fix.

I was not meant to be perfect.

This truth is hard for me to reckon with. I have vision of how I want thing to turn out. I cannot think of a time when I have been able to accomplish everything I wanted. Something could have always been just a bit better.

When it comes to myself, I struggle with focusing on the positive.

I am learning that to be satisfied accomplishing a task even when I know I could have done better.

I am learning that despite my flaws, God can use my efforts.

I need to trust that God is giving me the tools I need. He will use my best efforts.

As long as I am not focused on what went wrong, I can still be effective in what I am supposed to accomplish.

10 comments:

Carrie said...

THat is a wonderful analogy! No matter our imperfections...we still accomplish great things! Beautiful! Have a blessed day!

Foursons said...

Unfortunately, I relate all to well with your post today. But I love the spider web photos to go along with your words. So meaningful. Thanks!

MiMi said...

I'm just saying, you need a pumpkin latte. : )

Jen said...

We are all our own worst critics. I OBSESS over little things, like you said - what I did or didn't do/say. Half the time I'm trying to find 'me' time anywhere I can; the other half I feel like I'm unsuccessfully trying to tread water to get everything done. Finding balance (in everything!) is key.

Mimi cracks me up :)

Colored With Memories said...

this post definitely hits home with me. you've got good perspective...and i'm sure a pumpkin spice latte would make it even better!

He & Me + 3 said...

I can relate too. I am always second guessing myself. Thank you for sharing this post.

samantha said...

Love the post, but I have goose bumps from the photos =)

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Beautiful post...we are all our own worst critic for sure. Wonderful analogy and pics to go with it...

Missy said...

What a great post. I too struggle with trying to be "perfect" at everything I do.

i love the pictures.

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

Amen! I'm so glad God takes what little bit we have and makes something beautiful out of it. I'm so glad He doesn't expect us to be perfect. Thank you for that extra reminder today!