I have two goals today. Today I am going to get my kitchen clean and provide my kids dinner. I have been feeling icky for days and my place is a wreck.
There is a pile of laundry waiting to be folded on the couch. I had to put it there because there was a pile of washed laundry waiting in the washer to be dried.
There are little pieces of paper on the kitchen floor from yesterday (I think it was yesterday) when my 4 year old was practicing cutting (he needs those cutting skills).
The toys are all over the living room. That's a given on most days but today it seems worse.
The kitchen is the worst it has ever been. The waffle iron is still sitting on the counter to be cleaned from Saturday night. The griddle from last night's grilled cheese sandwiches just got washed. Thankfully for the counter space, we ordered pizza on Saturday night. We have managed to run the dishwasher each day but, beyond that, the leftover dishes have not been done. It is bad. There are also Sierra Mist cans sitting out. I don't know why but when I feel bad, I want Sierra Mist or Sprite to drink. So, the empty cans clutter the counter waiting to be recycled.
My husband and I have been feeling bad since Saturday. He stayed home from work most of the day yesterday. Today he has to work and he won't be home until after the kids are in bed. Today, it's all me and I don't feel up to it.
I have had 5,467 interruptions since I started writing this post.
I almost can't remember why I started this post. Oh, right- I remember...
I feel real. This is a bit of real life -dirtiness, struggling to keep up, constant interruptions, and distractions. It's humbling to be in this place. It's real.
I sat down with my cup of coffee, my bagel, my good book, a pencil and some paper. I read a bit. I had to keep my daughter from drawing on my devotional book. I had to keep her from tearing the fine paper pages of my Bible. After a bit, I gave up, put the binder, book and pencil on my counter.
I am not sure what I got from the verses I read today.
It doesn't matter. I am hanging on. I am holding on to all that's left to hold on to.
I don't feel good and I despise the state of my house.
I am pressing on.
I am bringing my dishes to the sink, washing and scrubbing, and setting them out to dry.
I am bringing my dirt, unashamed, to God.