Every time my husband goes away for an extended period of time, I learn about friendship.
Some people step up to help me with the kids.
Some people are there for me to call "if I need anything."
Some people are there to talk and listen.
Some people fade away.
I think about the way the change in my family situation affects my relationships with others. It bothers me. I don't like my changed perspective.
The hardest part of it all is how I always come back to square one (me) when I'm evaluating my changed relationships.
Oh sure, I know that means I will grow from this. But, it's tough.
I long for deeper friendships.
I realize I have wonderful friends. I also recognize there are many different ways to express friendship and many different levels to friendship.
I want to be a better friend.
It's hard recognizing that I haven't been the best at listening to others.
- I need to listen when others talk. I also need to be cognizant of the needs of others.
It's hard to realize that I need to be more inviting.
- I need to make others feel welcome. I need to plan activities with friends. I need to be more genuine. I need to invite people into my home, no matter how crazy my life seems.
It's hard to admit to myself that in order to have closer friendships, I need to be more transparent.
- I need to be me, despite what I wish were different.
I have many, many wonderful friends.
I could be and want to be a better friend to many.
For anyone that knows me (or even those that don't), no worries, I'm not discouraged. I just want to be a better friend.