Sunday, October 03, 2010

Friendship: Going Deeper

Every time my husband goes away for an extended period of time, I learn about friendship.

Some people step up to help me with the kids.
Some people are there for me to call "if I need anything."
Some people are there to talk and listen.
Some people fade away.

I think about the way the change in my family situation affects my relationships with others. It bothers me. I don't like my changed perspective.

The hardest part of it all is how I always come back to square one (me) when I'm evaluating my changed relationships.

Oh sure, I know that means I will grow from this. But, it's tough.

I long for deeper friendships.

I realize I have wonderful friends. I also recognize there are many different ways to express friendship and many different levels to friendship.

I want to be a better friend.

It's hard recognizing that I haven't been the best at listening to others.
- I need to listen when others talk. I also need to be cognizant of the needs of others.

It's hard to realize that I need to be more inviting.
- I need to make others feel welcome. I need to plan activities with friends. I need to be more genuine. I need to invite people into my home, no matter how crazy my life seems.

It's hard to admit to myself that in order to have closer friendships, I need to be more transparent.
- I need to be me, despite what I wish were different.

I have many, many wonderful friends.

I could be and want to be a better friend to many.

For anyone that knows me (or even those that don't), no worries, I'm not discouraged. I just want to be a better friend.


Missy said...

JA, it is sometimes hard to be a good friend to those around us when we caught up in our home and with our children.
We often need to find creative ways to be a good friend and make friendships; things like blogs. =)
Praying for you and your family JA.

Foursons said...

I am terrible about inviting people into my home. I don't feel comfortable w/people coming over to a messy house and it is so much work to make it not messy.

Leah said...

Hi JA! Your post really hit a chord with me...something I've been struggling with alot lately too. As a single person it's hard to have close friendships...everyone else has their spouse and kids...a natural social circle for things like dinners, movies, church, parks, etc. It's easy to feel alone and left out at times...other times it's fine. I too think I can be more "inviting" as you say. But so many times I invite only to find that no one can be that flexible any more with their time. Guess it's just part of life. Hang in there my friend. Wish we lived closer!!
Love ya,

MiMi said...

Girl, you are amazing. Always evaluating yourself and what YOU can do to be a better friend. You don't just say, "Oh my friends aren't as good as I thought," you always think about how it is something you can help. It's amazing. :)