My Fudgsicle Heart

She stood there, in the kitchen, with fudgsicle running down her leg, looking ridiculous.

We had stripped off her dress to avoid chocolate clothes.

In rare 2 year old form, she stood still. Waiting.

She was a mess.

Her nose, her cheeks, her neck, her hair, her hands and arm, and her legs were smothered in chocolate.

I asked her, "How are we gonna clean you up?"

She simply replied, "Get a washcloth."

I asked if she wanted to wash. She said, "No, you do it."

She knew what she needed. She waited. She made faces. She pushed the popsicle stick around in her mouth.


But, she stood still. She was happy to wait.

When I'm a mess, emotionally, I don't always handle myself as well as my two year old.

I stomp around in impatience. I lash out at loved ones over trivial things. I beat myself up over what I don't like about myself. I hide from life surfing the internet. I mope. I speak or email too quickly. I distract myself with pleasure- tasty treats, books, a cleaning project. I make myself busy. I run around, all the while leaving my emotional state in shambles.

Not today.

I am standing still. Messy, but still. Forcing myself to wait.

I'm praying, even though I'm stretched thin. I'm focusing on the truths I know, even though my day is demanding my attention. I am busy. Noises grate on my nerves. But, I am intentionally focusing my thoughts on God.

It isn't easy for me. I am easily distracted. I read Bible verses. I have hope. I know everything will be okay. And, I wait.

I'm waiting for Him to clean up my heart.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5

I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
Psalm 38:15

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31