Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Mom, I'm growing up
Today my oldest is off to camp. He leaves today for a 3 day outdoor science camp. To state that he is excited is to understate his enthusiasm.
He is not a morning kid at all but this morning he bolted out of bed when I said, "Today's the day!" He responded, "Really!?" and then jumped out from under the covers.
His elation is endearing.
My morning was a blaze of activity. My off-to-camp son was unpacking and repacking items. My kindergartner needed a hat for class (and not just any hat will do). My 1st grader needed me to write in his family journal. I was making 2 dozen muffins for a teacher appreciation breakfast. It was insanely busy. After everyone was where they needed to be, I grabbed a coffee and was hit with a realization: this camp is a milestone.
This is the first time my son has gone to an overnight camp.
Oh, I've know this for weeks but today it hit me.
Where did the time go?
Five years ago I walked him into Kindergarten. I took so many pictures. We hugged. He didn't want me to leave. We hugged again.
Today, I walked in as he put up his bags. I gave him him a high five (because that was the only display of affection he wanted at school). I lingered. I had trouble leaving.
Independence. I want it for my kids. But, in the face of a new independence, I felt unsure, uneasy, frozen, unready, and clinging. That couldn't have been me. No. Surely not.
Overnight camp. A milestone... a realization that my son dually craves independence and needs nurturing.
Overnight camp. A milestone... a realization that I mature as a mom as my kids age.
I became a mom 10 years ago. I am growing up a little today.