Every once in a while I get asked about the title of this blog. Only a few people have asked about it. I don't know if that means everyone else gets it or if no one else has ever stopped to think about it. It is quite significant to me. The title is a stark reminder for me to take inventory of my activities.
In 2006, my husband was deployed to Iraq. I was a stay-at-home mom of 3 boys (or more accurately, 2 boys and a baby). Being a single-stay-at-home mom was extremely challenging. I decided to tackle my chaotic isolation by being involved in activities. I made a conscious decision to be busy. I thought that if I stayed busy, I would be too busy to be worried or sad. I got involved in as many activities as I could. I found that if I was giving to others, I was less likely to focus on myself. It worked to a degree. I wasn't constantly focused on myself.
The downside was that the constant busyness was very taxing. Being busy all of the time became a burden. It was a different burden than the loneliness I was trying to avoid but it was a very heavy burden. I was constantly loading up the kids. I was constantly planning how to get to the next activity. I was constantly trying to figure out how to get everything on my list done. I was revolving around my life. I was weighed down by the constant motion of my days. I was exhausted and that made my emotional state unpredictable. I was exhausted and that made my spiritual life shallow. I was exhausted and that made it impossible to take care of myself physically.
I decided to begin this blog simply because I wanted a place to write. I wanted a creative outlet. The title was appropriate when I started blogging because it represented what I was experiencing. It is still appropriate because it reminds me to take inventory of what I am doing day-to-day. If I try to do everything that interests me, my life gets too busy. When I try to do too much, I cannot excel at anything.