I've been obsessing about something lately.
The start of the new year. This year. The number 40. The big 4-0...
I've looked up lists of things to do when you are forty and things to do before you are forty. Many of the online lists surprise me. I understand going sky diving or running a marathon. I don't get things like- have an affair, get married, get divorced. Those were all in the same list.
Anyway, I have been very thoughtful in January.
Who am I? What do I want to do that I haven't done? Where do I want to go? What do I want to learn? How can I improve myself? What have I started that I need to finish?
I have created several lists of my own, recognizing that I won't accomplish all of these things this year or next. After all, is this my fortieth year? Or, should I think of the year I am forty as the "big" year?
My Wednesday provided age related hilarity... I am still amused by it.
I have joined a class of women at my church that meets every Wednesday morning. Suffice it to say, I am the youngest women in the class. These sweet ladies are most all retirees or at least have achieved a senior citizen status. I joined the group knowing that I would be much younger than everyone else. Still, I need what the study has to offer and it fits easily into my schedule.
On Wednesday, the lady next to me commented that this was a big year for her.
The year she turns 80.
Let me just say, I wouldn't have guessed she was going to be 80. She is vibrant and active. But still... I'm in a class with a lady that is twice my age! (Incidentally, another lady told her life after 80 is great.) I felt so young.
Wednesday night, I went to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. There were sweet mommas holding tiny babies. A teenager, sitting next to me, was expecting her first child. We had a speaker on disciplining children. As I sat there listening to the discussion, I wondered, "When did I become the 'old' mom?" In fact, I had to excuse myself 15 minutes early because the youth group gets out before our meeting ends and I needed to pick up my oldest son. The mom I told this to looked at me like I was from Mars. I felt so old.
I don't know whether I am old or young. I guess it depends on who you ask.
I am going to do my best to make this year (and next) my best yet.