Friday, January 18, 2013

Young or Old

I've been obsessing about something lately.
The start of the new year. This year. The number 40. The big 4-0...

I've looked up lists of things to do when you are forty and things to do before you are forty. Many of the online lists surprise me. I understand going sky diving or running a marathon. I don't get things like- have an affair, get married, get divorced. Those were all in the same list. 

Anyway, I have been very thoughtful in January.
Who am I? What do I want to do that I haven't done?  Where do I want to go? What do I want to learn? How can I improve myself? What have I started that I need to finish?

I have created several lists of my own, recognizing that I won't accomplish all of these things this year or next. After all, is this my fortieth year? Or, should I think of the year I am forty as the "big" year? 

My Wednesday provided age related hilarity... I am still amused by it.

I have joined a class of women at my church that meets every Wednesday morning. Suffice it to say, I am the youngest women in the class. These sweet ladies are most all retirees or at least have achieved a senior citizen status. I joined the group knowing that I would be much younger than everyone else. Still, I need what the study has to offer and it fits easily into my schedule. 
On Wednesday, the lady next to me commented that this was a big year for her.
The year she turns 80.

Let me just say, I wouldn't have guessed she was going to be 80. She is vibrant and active. But still... I'm in a class with a lady that is twice my age! (Incidentally, another lady told her life after 80 is great.) I felt so young.

Wednesday night, I went to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. There were sweet mommas holding tiny babies. A teenager, sitting next to me, was expecting her first child. We had a speaker on disciplining children. As I sat there listening to the discussion,  I wondered, "When did I become the 'old' mom?" In fact, I had to excuse myself 15 minutes early because the youth group gets out before our meeting ends and I needed to pick up my oldest son. The mom I told this to looked at me like I was from Mars. I felt so old.

I don't know whether I am old or young. I guess it depends on who you ask.

I am going to do my best to make this year (and next) my best yet.


sharon said...

I remember marveling at one of the "older" moms when she talked about taking a shower and I couldn't fathom the day I could take a shower without putting a baby in a playpen or trying to go really fast and get out before damage was done to herself or the house.She had to stop and think back because she hadn't even realized the freedom she had and that we didn't all have that freedom. Now, I am getting that toddler ready for high school. I guess I am the old mom now. I need to start hanging out with 80 year olds. :) I like the questions you've asked yourself as the new year begins.

ChupieandJ'smama (Janeen) said...

As someone who just turned 43, I hear you on the sometimes I feel old, sometimes I feel young.
I worry people think I'm the grandma to my little guy vs. the mama. I mean, seriously, I COULD be a grandma at my age. And That is a scary thought.
I think I need to start hanging out with 80 year olds too :)