Thursday, April 09, 2009

Thursday Thanks Tank #82

I have been thinking about Easter. I have also been thinking a great deal about my friends whose husbands are being sent to the middle east.

As you know from several of my posts, I have been remembering the events and feelings that I experienced when my husband was being sent to Iraq. I was proud of my husband and his mission. He had my full support.

But, it was tremendously difficult.

I remember vividly the feeling of dread as the deployment approached. I remember the heightened emotions. I remember crying. I remember clinging to each happy moment we had as a couple and as a family. I remember planning out the last month of our time together. I was really careful with the details of the last week. I remember approaching each day as if it was the last. Oh, I didn't want it to be the last. I couldn't fathom that. I also couldn't ignore the danger of the war zone where my husband was going. And so, each passing day drew me closer to something that I didn't want. I didn't want the separation. I couldn't imagine the pain. I just knew that it was going to hurt. It was going to tear me apart.

I dreaded deployment day with an intensity that I had not felt before.

This week I have tried to imagine what Christ must have felt the week before being crucified. He knew. He knew what was coming. He knew the cross was part of the plan. He was aware of the plan from the beginning. He didn't desire the pain.

He knew it was going to hurt.

He was aware of the price. He did not want to be separated from God. He was willing but prayed for another way. I cannot fathom the magnitude of his grief. I cannot understand his willingness. I cannot comprehend the intensity of his feelings.

I remember the dread I felt when my husband was about to go to war. It left a profound ache in my heart.

I think about how Christ might have felt in the still of the nights the week before his crucifixion.

He could have choosen another path. I am thankful that he didn't.

I am thankful that Christ went to the cross so that I can have a relationship with God.

That's what I am thankful for this week.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

BEAUTIFUL JANE ANNE....I TOO AM VERY THANKFUL....HAPPY EASTER!
PATTI B.

Trisha said...

Amazing!

Amy Jo said...

Ditto. Happy Easter, my friend.

He And Me + 3 said...

Just trying to catch a glimpse of the anxiety and pain you were feeling knowing your hubby was leaving, It really put into perspective how Christ must have felt.
Great post.
I am Thankful that He died for our sins too.
Happy Easter Friend!

Denise said...

Such a lovely post.

sarah said...

Good post! I too have been trying to focus on Christs great sacrifice for me-at times it is almost too much to think about! Thank you for sharing your heart!

Beth E. said...

Excellent post...very powerful and moving!

I, too, am so very thankful for the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made.

Have a blessed Easter!

Pam said...

This was a beautiful post, Jane Anne.

Have a blessed Easter with your sweet family and remember to cherish each of those sweet faces, regardless of what gets smeared on the Sunday clothes. : )

Anonymous said...

Wow, there's a lot to think about there. Thank you Jane Anne.

shopannies said...

Can you imagine the night in the garden oh how that must of been with Jesus knowing what was to happen to stay where all knew he would be found

Serendipity said...

A great post. Thanks for sharing this. A blessed Easter to you.

LAURIE said...

Thank you so much for sharing with us on TT from the depths of your heart. I also know the feelings of deployment as my son has been overseas for 7 months now and when you compare that to the sacrifice Christ made for us, so willingly, well it leaves me just speechless! Happy Easter to you and yours! -Laurie

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

What a beautiful post.

Ellen said...

Again Jane Anne, beautifully written, beautifully thankful. I'm thankful for you.