Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Destination Unknown
I was in the international terminal of the airport. Going through customs was proving to be a pain. Why were they searching every single item I owned? That's what it felt like. I was excited to be going on a trip and I was getting impatient to get the trip started.
Then, I woke up.
I sipped on the coffee that was tenderly left on the bedside table by my adoring husband.
I made my way into the living room and cuddled with a reading 7 year old. We discussed big screen TV's and why people can't live forever.
My 10 year old woke up. I inspected his arm, which is hurting from a fall he took on the soccer field (incidentally in the same place he broke it a few years ago).
I searched for missing legos for my 6 year old.
I discovered that my 3 year old calls a specific cereal "dry cereal" because when daddy gave it to her he let her have it dry and called it dry cereal. So, in her mind, only one kind of cereal is "dry" and she wanted milk with it.
Some days I feel like I am in a foreign world. How did I get here being doted on, discussing philosophy, doctoring kids, and deciphering language barriers.
My destination today is unknown.
I am trying to convince the kids it would be fun to visit the library and get signed up for library cards. One wants to go to the pool. One wants to play legos. One wants to play video games (Oh, who am I kidding? They all want to do that.) One wants to follow her older brother around and copy his actions.
I am not at all sure where we will end up. I do know it will be an eventful journey.
Then, I woke up.
I sipped on the coffee that was tenderly left on the bedside table by my adoring husband.
I made my way into the living room and cuddled with a reading 7 year old. We discussed big screen TV's and why people can't live forever.
My 10 year old woke up. I inspected his arm, which is hurting from a fall he took on the soccer field (incidentally in the same place he broke it a few years ago).
I searched for missing legos for my 6 year old.
I discovered that my 3 year old calls a specific cereal "dry cereal" because when daddy gave it to her he let her have it dry and called it dry cereal. So, in her mind, only one kind of cereal is "dry" and she wanted milk with it.
Some days I feel like I am in a foreign world. How did I get here being doted on, discussing philosophy, doctoring kids, and deciphering language barriers.
My destination today is unknown.
I am trying to convince the kids it would be fun to visit the library and get signed up for library cards. One wants to go to the pool. One wants to play legos. One wants to play video games (Oh, who am I kidding? They all want to do that.) One wants to follow her older brother around and copy his actions.
I am not at all sure where we will end up. I do know it will be an eventful journey.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Arrogant Disrespect and Apathy
When the group arrived, four kids and two adults were in the pool. A boy wearing glasses, sat relaxing in a lawn chair next to the hot tub reading a book. There were 4 kids in the arriving group and a man trailed after them. The kids put their stuff down and began running and jumping into the pool, splashing a lady and her 12 year old daughter. They were laughing, running and splashing. The lady and her daughter were not amused when they kept moving to a different area only to find the kids still splashing them.
The oldest in the group of kids was clearly the leader, as the other kids followed him and copied his actions. He seemed to be about 11.
He ran and jumped into the hot tub. His jump didn't produce the splash he wanted. He took off his mask scooped up water and threw it at the 10 year old that was reading a book. Startled, the boy shrugged it off, and began reading again.
I gave the 11 year old a mean glare. In defiance, he splashed the boy again.
A minute later I decided to lay on a lawn chair near the hot tub.
The 10 year old decided to get in the pool.
Within a few minutes, the 11 year old was in the pool, with 3 other boys in tow. He began taunting the 10 year old.
11 year old, "You're gay."
10 year old, "No"
11 year old, "That boy (pointing to one in his group) said you are gay."
10 year old, "No."
11 year old, "Yes you are."
10 year old, "No, I'm not. NO."
The 11 year old looked up and saw my stare. Smugly he said, "He (pointing the 10 year old's brother) said my brother is gay.
I answered: "No. He did not."
The rest of the pool visit by the 2nd group of kids consisted of a medley of disrespectful actions. The boys went into the work out room (you have to go through there to go to the bathrooms) and I witnessed them hanging on weight machines until they were kicked out of the gym area. They also were messing with a pool light (the kind that is under water on the side of the wall). The light came out of the pool wall. I did not witness when it came out of the wall so I could not claim with absolute certainty (when the apartment manager came to inspect it) that it was their fault. I have my suspicions, though.
The other adults (which included 3 additional adults and two more kids) were astounded that the dad did nothing but layout in the sun. He did not care that the kids were being disrespectful to others and messing with the pool property. When the kids were restless (and not allowed to ride their scooters into the pool), the dad said, "Oh, are you ready to go?" About that time, an apartment manager yelled out to the man, by name, that his kids were being disrespectful and they needed to stop or they wouldn't be allowed back. They left.
The light was reported and the pool had to be closed for the maintenance worker to fix the light.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The 10 year old is my son. The 11 year old was out of control. He was a bully. The dad was either oblivious or apathetic.
I wanted to yell at the man. I wanted to pull the 11 year old out of the pool and lecture him. I knew that would be fruitless. I wanted to yell at that man.
More than anything, I wanted to support my son - not embarrass him but support him. Parenting a child that is easily picked on is difficult.
We talked about the incident later. Aside from not embarrassing my son at the pool, the best thing I could do was to make sure we discussed what happened. My son recognizes the problem was the other kid and not him. But, he admits that he didn't like what he was saying to him and how he was treating him.
I want to empower my son and encourage him to be strong and confident.
The arrogant disrespect from the other boy and the severe apathy of the man has left me impassioned and indignant.
My prayer: Oh Lord, please help my son have a good year in this new school he will be attending. Please let him make wonderful friends. Give him confidence and let him have fun. Give me wisdom to guide and encourage.
The oldest in the group of kids was clearly the leader, as the other kids followed him and copied his actions. He seemed to be about 11.
He ran and jumped into the hot tub. His jump didn't produce the splash he wanted. He took off his mask scooped up water and threw it at the 10 year old that was reading a book. Startled, the boy shrugged it off, and began reading again.
I gave the 11 year old a mean glare. In defiance, he splashed the boy again.
A minute later I decided to lay on a lawn chair near the hot tub.
The 10 year old decided to get in the pool.
Within a few minutes, the 11 year old was in the pool, with 3 other boys in tow. He began taunting the 10 year old.
11 year old, "You're gay."
10 year old, "No"
11 year old, "That boy (pointing to one in his group) said you are gay."
10 year old, "No."
11 year old, "Yes you are."
10 year old, "No, I'm not. NO."
The 11 year old looked up and saw my stare. Smugly he said, "He (pointing the 10 year old's brother) said my brother is gay.
I answered: "No. He did not."
The rest of the pool visit by the 2nd group of kids consisted of a medley of disrespectful actions. The boys went into the work out room (you have to go through there to go to the bathrooms) and I witnessed them hanging on weight machines until they were kicked out of the gym area. They also were messing with a pool light (the kind that is under water on the side of the wall). The light came out of the pool wall. I did not witness when it came out of the wall so I could not claim with absolute certainty (when the apartment manager came to inspect it) that it was their fault. I have my suspicions, though.
The other adults (which included 3 additional adults and two more kids) were astounded that the dad did nothing but layout in the sun. He did not care that the kids were being disrespectful to others and messing with the pool property. When the kids were restless (and not allowed to ride their scooters into the pool), the dad said, "Oh, are you ready to go?" About that time, an apartment manager yelled out to the man, by name, that his kids were being disrespectful and they needed to stop or they wouldn't be allowed back. They left.
The light was reported and the pool had to be closed for the maintenance worker to fix the light.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The 10 year old is my son. The 11 year old was out of control. He was a bully. The dad was either oblivious or apathetic.
I wanted to yell at the man. I wanted to pull the 11 year old out of the pool and lecture him. I knew that would be fruitless. I wanted to yell at that man.
More than anything, I wanted to support my son - not embarrass him but support him. Parenting a child that is easily picked on is difficult.
We talked about the incident later. Aside from not embarrassing my son at the pool, the best thing I could do was to make sure we discussed what happened. My son recognizes the problem was the other kid and not him. But, he admits that he didn't like what he was saying to him and how he was treating him.
I want to empower my son and encourage him to be strong and confident.
The arrogant disrespect from the other boy and the severe apathy of the man has left me impassioned and indignant.
My prayer: Oh Lord, please help my son have a good year in this new school he will be attending. Please let him make wonderful friends. Give him confidence and let him have fun. Give me wisdom to guide and encourage.
Monday, August 01, 2011
So Much To See
I moved from a small rural town of around 14,000 to a town with over 90,000, which is next to (really connected to) a town of over 220,000.This past weekend - yesterday- I drove around by myself. I felt like a kid in a state of amazement. There is so much here. I am not accustomed to the endless shops and people. It both thrills me and startles me. I've been longing to enjoy life without a constant desire to acquire. I wonder if I will be able to continue to peruse simplicity with all of the glitz around me. I suppose simplicity in a suburb might look different from simplicity in a rural town. I also wonder how long it will take for me to belong here. It's August. At the end of the month, my kids will start school. The soccer season has begun. I will meet people through the kids' activities. I want to find activities and pursuits that I enjoy. We have found a house to rent. We should be able to move in two weeks. I am thrilled with the newness of it all.
I am enjoying a genesis.
I am enjoying the numerous coffee shops. It's comforting, this coffee habit of mine... but sometimes I feel a little lost... like this man in the coffee beans.
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